Sweet music

If music be the food of love/life then play on - truer words have never been spoken. I love and appreciate all genres and eras of music (that I have heard), yes, even country. They all communicate something; a moment, an experience - music is an expression of life; be it about heart break, love, lust, lost, sex, drugs, violence; it puts words and sound to these experiences.

Music sometimes allows me to express emotions and thoughts that give me a bit of difficulty to corral. One of my favorite songs is "My way" by Frank Sinatra; for the simply reason that I like doing things my way and I try to live my life with few regrets (good and not so good choices). But today I was reminded of another classic which I like - it seems to speak to me with more frequency of late; it is 'to all the girls I've loved before" by Julio Iglesias. Loved in this context having double meaning (edited for public consumption and unedited for private use) and the girls/women walking through my life being platonic and otherwise.

I hope this is not considered copy right infringement, but I feel compelled to share the lyrics of this song:

To all the girls I've loved before
Who travelled in and out my door
I'm glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the girls I've loved before

To all the girls I once caressed
And may I say I've held the best
For helping me to grow
I owe a lot I know
To all the girls I've loved before

The winds of change are always blowing
And every time I try to stay
The winds of change continue blowing
And they just carry me away

To all the girls who shared my life
Who now are someone else's wives
I'm glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the girls I've loved before

To all the girls who cared for me
Who filled my nights with ecstasy
They live within my heart
I'll always be a part
Of all the girls I've loved before

The winds of change are always blowing
And every time I try to stay
The winds of change continue blowing
And they just carry me away

I could not have said it any better if I tried - it is a masterful song. At first I misread some of the lyrics as I was thinking of moments in my life - but that just reinforces my point about music and life. Indeed, if music be the food of love/life play on.

Living in cliches

There are plenty examples of contradiction in life - in both actions and words; it's a toss up between where there are more, i.e. words or actions. Do as I say not as I do; the only constant in life is change - the more things change the more they remain the same; history repeats itself - experience is the greatest teacher; and the list goes on.

I'll pause on the last one. If history repeats itself, one would surmise that nothing was learnt from the past - from the experience, in which case history would indeed repeat itself. However, if experience is the greatest teacher, one would expect that history would not repeat itself - it would seem logical. So which is it?Is it that if I fucked up once and I learnt from that fuck then I won't fuck up again; is it no matter what I will fuck up again because history is doomed to repeat itself; or perhaps there is a third possibility, I learn from the past but I will still fuck up, just not as bad this time around.

While it is probable that I will fuck up the possibility of me fucking up with the same magnitude is something totally different. But I suppose only history will tell, right.

Risk Management

My nephew who is as close to me as a brother, some years ago asked me what can a man do to prevent his girl from cheating on him - I told him then nothing. My thinking/feeling has not changed significantly since then - perhaps I have refined it a bit; but by and large the gist of my statement has not changed.

Ultimately whether your partner cheats is not up to you. I view cheating as an inherent risk - the likelihood of an adverse event. In business it is important for management to carry risk assessments and manage risk to safeguard the assets of the company. Though it may seem to be some what of the objectification of another human being; it is necessary for my purposes at this time.

With risk management there are but three things you could do; eliminate risk, mitigate risk, or accept risk. Remember though, in the context of human being you can only (with out force or coercion) control yourself. Everyone has the propensity for infidelity i.e. inherent risk, thus if it is inherent and we can not control our partners then it stands to reason that the risk of infidelity can not be eliminated - by extension if you accept that the risk can not be eliminated and you still opt to "commit" (commit is relative in the context of a relationship and subject to my definition) to another individual then you accept the risk of infidelity.

We are left now with only one possible course of action, risk mitigation. People "stray" for any number of reasons - none more justified than the other, but we do it anyway. With risk mitigation you employ strategies that while it may not eliminate the risk/chances of your partner straying will reduce the likelihood to a reasonable acceptable level - of course this would vary from one person to another.

Risk mitigation techniques may included but are not limited to: spending quality time together(the definition of quality time varies with individuals, it is advisable that you have a good understanding of the other party before hand); be considerate to your partners needs and emotional states (some are more needy and emotional than others - depending on your tolerance level you might be better off just moving on to someone less needy and emotional); don't stop courting (best advice I ever got from a colleague - try to remember some of the things you did when you'll were still on the cocaine high; every now and then fuck in the car; pay each other compliments, etc); don't take your partner for granted (this is a tricky one, because if they are emotional and needy everything you do or do not do would be considered taking them for granted); and of course my favourite, pass the sex (it is expected that the frequency of sex would decrease as you come down from the cocaine high - but it should not come like a bank statement; once a month or only on request) pass it, doh do shat.

Clearly it has been a few years since that conversation and experience has taught me much - my response to my nephew now though refined (or elaborate take your pick) still remains the same; there is nothing you can do to prevent your partner from cheating. But you can reduce the likelihood and impact with a few strategic measures.

Filing loot

I came across this while filing today (by the way I dislike filing - hence I have not done it in a year); the author is unknown. I wanted to get rid of the paper but I liked the poems so I figured I would reproduce it here, and hope I'm not sued later.

All I ever did

All I ever did was love you
Why did you have to make me blue?
I never asked for much
But just a soft warm touch

All I ever did was miss you
So why couldn't you miss me too?
Thoughts of you were with me all day
But of menot for a minute would you let them stay

All I ever wanted was to be your boo
Why couldn't you just let me be with you?
You just had to treat me great
Because only on your request would I be late

All I ever wanted was to be in your arms forever
But no!!! I should have been a lil more clever
Your kisses, not even in a dream would I resist
But your love never began, while mine just won't cease

All I ever needed were true kisses
Why couldn't they tell me I was missed?
Not even a hug, you'd bother just give me
So finally, from your memories I will flee

It matters not

It matters not the distance between us
But the level of our trust

It matters not how often we speak
But the excitement in the convo, that's the trick

It matters not the time we spend together
But the language of the feeling felt, never or forever

It matters not the tears I've cried
But the fact that my sweetie is still by my side

It matters not the trouble we've been thru
But the joy that I feel because you're still my boo

It matters not the sleepless nights I've had
But the promise you made to always make me glad

It matters not just saying you love me
But the way you explain it when you do kiss me

Axis of Evil

I highly suspect there are a few if not many people who believe me to be latently evil in one way or another. While I admit to having some pretty twisted thoughts along with breaking a commandment or few, to say or think that I'm evil seems a bit extreme. Then again to the highly religious if I scream out "Oh God" at the point of my climax that would be considered a sin punishable by stoning.

I got into this long discussion about good and evil, the devil and god with a colleague earlier today; no doubt after realising the errors of his ways he thought I should reexamine my life. I try to respect every ones life choices and I expect that people would do the same when it comes to me - but that would be asking alot. We are not all cut from the same cloth and are not all expected to walk the same path. The North Wind in his/her wisdom gave me the ability to choose my path, being cognisant of the consequences of the path I choose. Why won't mere man allow me to walk that path with out handing me a map to their path - I don't need a map to point me to the east, if where I want to go is west.

The religious have a hard time following the directions on their own map. Revelations 20:8 says "He will go out to deceive Gog and Magog, the nations in the four corners of the earth, and gather them for war. They will be as numerous as the grains of sand on the seashore." I'm no bible scholar but it seems to me that there will be alot of evil people to fight this war of the ages. Didn't the religious nuts read this part of the bible - didn't they understand that there must be evil; it is the natural balance of life. If we were all good there would be nothing to fight for, nothing to aspire to, nothing to even let you know that the life you are living is good. Evil is necessary; day can not exist without night and vice versa, humans are inherently endowed with the propensity for good and evil acts. The important thing is maintaining the balance.

Funny this discussion about god, the devil, good and evil stemmed from a conversation about infidelity. I can only deduce then that to cheat is to be evil - the new axis of evil is in my pants.

The plot

Sofie stumbled across this, I wrote it some time ago (and some how I don't think I posted it), I can vaguely recall what inspired it, but I'm sure I got some pleasure from my muse.

The devilish grin moves across my face, I know what it means. I can hear the cogs of my mind turning; when, how, where. The thoughts of mischief quickens my pulse, excitement flushes my body; the plotting begins. Careful moves with calculated outcomes; how do I get what I want, where I want and how I want it. Ah! It's coming to me like it often does - the grin is internalized to hide it from peering eyes. Aha! Soon I will relish/revel in the moment I have created.

2010 - the beginning

2010, it's here and so far it has had a fabulous start - better than recent past. I don't know exactly what this year will bring and how, but I'm sure this year will be better than the last. 2009 was a good year, I dear say great - drama free, fun and prosperous; I have truly been blessed. This year started with family, friends, partying and cash in my pocket - that could only be signs of better days. I have but one plan for this year - build on from the last; I have not given it more thought beyond that - no planning, just go with the flow. The new year has began, I can't wait to see what lays ahead.