Risk Management

My nephew who is as close to me as a brother, some years ago asked me what can a man do to prevent his girl from cheating on him - I told him then nothing. My thinking/feeling has not changed significantly since then - perhaps I have refined it a bit; but by and large the gist of my statement has not changed.

Ultimately whether your partner cheats is not up to you. I view cheating as an inherent risk - the likelihood of an adverse event. In business it is important for management to carry risk assessments and manage risk to safeguard the assets of the company. Though it may seem to be some what of the objectification of another human being; it is necessary for my purposes at this time.

With risk management there are but three things you could do; eliminate risk, mitigate risk, or accept risk. Remember though, in the context of human being you can only (with out force or coercion) control yourself. Everyone has the propensity for infidelity i.e. inherent risk, thus if it is inherent and we can not control our partners then it stands to reason that the risk of infidelity can not be eliminated - by extension if you accept that the risk can not be eliminated and you still opt to "commit" (commit is relative in the context of a relationship and subject to my definition) to another individual then you accept the risk of infidelity.

We are left now with only one possible course of action, risk mitigation. People "stray" for any number of reasons - none more justified than the other, but we do it anyway. With risk mitigation you employ strategies that while it may not eliminate the risk/chances of your partner straying will reduce the likelihood to a reasonable acceptable level - of course this would vary from one person to another.

Risk mitigation techniques may included but are not limited to: spending quality time together(the definition of quality time varies with individuals, it is advisable that you have a good understanding of the other party before hand); be considerate to your partners needs and emotional states (some are more needy and emotional than others - depending on your tolerance level you might be better off just moving on to someone less needy and emotional); don't stop courting (best advice I ever got from a colleague - try to remember some of the things you did when you'll were still on the cocaine high; every now and then fuck in the car; pay each other compliments, etc); don't take your partner for granted (this is a tricky one, because if they are emotional and needy everything you do or do not do would be considered taking them for granted); and of course my favourite, pass the sex (it is expected that the frequency of sex would decrease as you come down from the cocaine high - but it should not come like a bank statement; once a month or only on request) pass it, doh do shat.

Clearly it has been a few years since that conversation and experience has taught me much - my response to my nephew now though refined (or elaborate take your pick) still remains the same; there is nothing you can do to prevent your partner from cheating. But you can reduce the likelihood and impact with a few strategic measures.