On the drive home a curious thought entered my head, and since the resurgence of my writer I feel duty bound, drawn to the glow of the screen, the black text expressing thought, the sound of my fingers hitting the keys. I have consumed the freshly baked corn bread - it was delicious, I had planned on eating one but I scarfed down two (my ass either pounding the pavement tomorrow or I at the gym); and while I allow my Chamomile tea to steep, I type.
The thought discretion is the better part of valor - was the thought that entered my head as I drove home tonight; disjointed thoughts seem to frequent my head. I recalled a series of seemingly unrelated thoughts, phrases and events - with one word in common, discretion. It seems now that they were more related than I thought. So much for thinking.
Discretion as defined on the website www.thefreedictionary.com - means "the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid social embarrassment or distress" In the married circles this is a word often used within the context of discussions on infidelity. Where discretion means - pretense that what is is not; and the truth is what you are made to, or allow yourself to believe; contrasted with indiscretion which means disrespect to the good social standing of your partner.
It begs the questions; is one better than the other discrete or indiscreet? Is infidelity discrete or indiscreet result in a different outcome? Does the slighted spouse feel any more or less hurt? Is a discrete spouse looked upon in more favour than an indiscreet spouse?
In the war of love and sex does discretion have less casualties?
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To be discreet or indiscreet? THAT!! is the question. Old Folks have a saying "sa s'yeux pas wair, coeur pas ca fait mal." meaning what the eyes don't see can't hurt the heart. while infidelity is frowned upon and every one, whether overtly or covertly wishes that one's partner is not unfaithful, our national values and social mores support this idea, but our norms sing a different tune. Indiscretion is certainly frowned upon.
ReplyDeleteDiscretion you see is functional. It saves the partner (be it male or female)public embarrassment and private self doubt and hurt. Public comments and whisperings hurt even more sometimes than the unfaithful act itself. As is typical of small societies, the spurned partner is constantly faced with the issue sometimes on a daily basis. Be it with friends offering support, enemies pretending to be friends detailing sightings. Those with ulterior motives encouraging one to kick the unfaithful bastard to the curb and then outlining other cases of infidelity that one did not know about before,to buffer the argument .
You see when one's partner is discreet, especially when one never finds out about the act there is no hurt. On the other hand indiscretion breeds pain and contempt because the partner experiences it in the moment and is aware of the cause of his or her rejection, ill- treatment, and pain. Others seize the opportunity to expose past cases of infidelity to compound the situation (of course that is to ensure your sorry arse is kicked to the curb)so it takes a much longer time to heal and if at all possible repair the relationship because it is now a public affair and many parties become involved.
So the question remains.