Devil's Nectar

Hi, my name is (Insert Name Here) and I'm an alcoholic. Just like in the movies.

Sofie has concerns that I can down a few drinks too many on occasion. She's right, when I decide to drink - boy can I drink. So out of sheer curiosity I goggled alcoholism. Guess what? According to all the studies I have a problem with alcohol - it eh like me not one bit. Apparently it is a progressive disease, and I could progress to it if there is not an immediate intervention. This is me screaming for help :-() :-() :-() :-). Who am I kidding?

Damn it! My version of social drinking is apparently alcohol abuse, for the simple reason that I socialise too much. The literature even said if you have a drink of preference that is a sign of alcoholism - and here I thought I was being cultured :-). I thought alcoholics did not really care what it was once it got them drunk. Damn it! I thought wrong - oh well. On the upside I currently have 3 drinks of preference in the following order: Hennessy (no chaser); Dewar's (no chaser); Campari (chased with beer), so maybe I'm not quite an alcoholic (but chasing liquor with liquor - hmmm).

In conversation last night, I toyed with the idea of not drinking for lent - then I remembered I'm not a devout Catholic - thank god for small mercies. Some time ago I instituted a 4 drink maximum (don't ask me why - I do strange shit like that sometimes) - it's been a while I have moved past 4 drinks (don't ask me why, same reason as before) ; I should probably make a more concerted effort to return to that maximum consumption level (I'll ask myself why later). So that all fears of future problems with my drinking are allayed I will make considerable effort to socialise less. Now what will I blame it on?

I know someone reading this will not find it the least bit funny - but guess what? I'm LMAO here. :-) :-) :-)