No Entry

Children, kids, the little one(s) - they are called by many names but at one point (or several) they are commonly referred to as sex suppressants and or cock blocks. When they are healthy and vibrant they suppress basic sexual activity (no more or at least not as frequent acrobatics or marathon sex sessions). Their high concentration (and seemingly endless supply) of energy keeps them going till they tire you out to the point where the last thing on your mind is sex - that's not to say it is not on your mind (sex is always on my mind; damn it, it's in my DNA I secrete sex).

But when illness hits the little ones they move from a suppressant to an outright vaccination against the contraction of sex as if it were a disease to be fought most vigorously. Yes they graduate to a bloody hindrance aka cock block (No Entry). When your child becomes sick his/her mother (I say mother because, while daddy is concerned about his offspring his other head has a brain too, with a very one track mind - get some; but daddy attempts to show clemency) issues a notice in ostensibly diplomatic language- albeit telepathically, which by now you should be receiving loud and clear. It reads something like this:

Due to circumstances beyond our control we regret to announce the temporary closure of all ports of entry. Efforts are being made to resolve the cause of this blockage. We assure you that we are working assiduously to restore normal operations of all ports, and encourage you our valued partner in as far as possible to contribute to us returning to a state of normalcy . We regret any inconvenience this temporary interruption to "service" may cause and we look forward to your continued commitment to this partnership.

For further information please do not hesitate to contact us on our hot line, the number is 1 800 U NOT GETN NONE.

In case you are wondering - yes my son is ill. I block (for now).