Crashing into me

Yesterday afternoon I crashed, I could not clear that god damn emotional hurdle. I blinked for a split second and boom, there it was. They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die (maybe it wasn't my whole life that flashed); I'm still breathing, how did I manage to fuck up or miss death completely. Oh I know, I was at my desk and in otherwise almost perfect health, except for this fucking psychosis with symptoms of sudden on set feelings of sadness and misery; sometimes manifested in physical pain and fatigue. Fatigue of everything.

The grim reaper either didn't see me or was not interested. Guess he or she will take a rain check.

My heart felt like a builders stone, heavy in my chest; finding a distraction was all I could do to hold back the tears. Tears for what, mai sav. I felt laden with sadness like those melancholic country and western songs which permeate the airwaves. What the fuck! My day must have been going to good. I must have tempted fate.

Where the fuck did this crappy feeling come from? Emotions, how I hate them sometimes, they take you on this high grade ganja high, you float away and soak it all up. But then they bring you crashing to your knees and as you are about to rise to your feet, you feel the stinging stroke from the whip of this god damn emotional necromancer.

Wretched fucking emotions, of what use are they other than to torment my already weakened soul. I'm going to get a really big, heavy sledgehammer and smash these fucking hurdles to pieces.