Ah the disillusion of polygamous monogamy - an oxymoron if ever there was one. One truly can not exist in this state in equilibrium, there must be a flux of imbalance, disharmony. The volatile nature of conflicting personalities eventually cascades - there must be a bone of contention, implicit or explicit revolt to the spoken or unspoken arrangement. A cultural nuance tacitly accepted or verbosely denounced.
The deception of this taboo arrangement, the complicity of the unwilling participants - it is enough to drive the calmest and most level headed among us mad. Is this behaviour, nature, nurture or just plain old socialization? That's the way it is, that the way it will always be, seems to be a fleeting notion. It is difficult to go against the preposterous concepts of socialization which seems to contradict innate conditioning - the conditioning to lust; while social constructs dictate one arrest these desires.
Alas, everyone has to face down their demons, fight their battles on that subconscious plain - perhaps the battle is won by surrender; surrender to nature and not be imprisoned by choice.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Monday, July 27, 2015
Slow Learner
It's been a while since I have had to resort to this page as my therapy, so long has it been that I even forgot the blog name. Ha! Sigh, but alas I am here once again, misery loves my blog - there is no company in my misery. Every emotion is a choice, every choice is invariably the mask of the moment. This is not my finest hour, my moments are fleeting, I feel emotionally drained - I am exhausted from conversations and discussions, I am too tired to think or feel.
I had a body snatcher moment this morning on the commute to work, for a brief moment I found myself lost on a familiar road - quite literally driving by rote. Somehow I managed to find myself back in the doldrums. Ah well, such are the consequences of the decisions and choices we make.
Saturday, January 10, 2015
To love or not to love...
If you ever find yourself wondering, trying to make sense of why you love who you love, stop, it is an exercise in futility.
Science will tell you that love is nothing more than the firing of signals in the brain and the release of chemicals. But that still does not aptly capture the logic that one defies in the name of love.
It is debatable whether love is finite, but what is not up for debate is the infinite pain that love can cause on its victims. The tearful sleepless nights, heated arguments, feelings of disappointment and depression.
Love! A four letter word that has brouht the greatest of humans to their knees - weakened their resolve, broken their spirit. Love, another one of the universe's greatest practical jokes - a paradox. Love!
Science will tell you that love is nothing more than the firing of signals in the brain and the release of chemicals. But that still does not aptly capture the logic that one defies in the name of love.
It is debatable whether love is finite, but what is not up for debate is the infinite pain that love can cause on its victims. The tearful sleepless nights, heated arguments, feelings of disappointment and depression.
Love! A four letter word that has brouht the greatest of humans to their knees - weakened their resolve, broken their spirit. Love, another one of the universe's greatest practical jokes - a paradox. Love!
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Why?
It is in those moments when you lay in the dark wide awake with your eyes shut listening to the night you ask yourself, why?
In those moments there are more questions than answers, more thoughts than the brain can accomodate, and you wonder, why.
In the darkness the movie rill of the years past flicker, and you wonder, who was the director, who wrote this script, who acted out these scenes, but, it all comes back to why
Why this life, why this emptiness, why are you sitting here alone in the dark, why?
In those moments there are more questions than answers, more thoughts than the brain can accomodate, and you wonder, why.
In the darkness the movie rill of the years past flicker, and you wonder, who was the director, who wrote this script, who acted out these scenes, but, it all comes back to why
Why this life, why this emptiness, why are you sitting here alone in the dark, why?
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Take no prisoners
This won't be another morbid interlude dotted with melancholy
It won't be another moment of reclusive escape to wallow in self-pity
No, what is life but a learning experience, and experience has been a good teacher
This will be a melancholic interlude, because love is pain, pain is life
Dotted colorfully with callous frivolity and emotional vacancy
It won't be another moment of reclusive escape to wallow in self-pity
No, what is life but a learning experience, and experience has been a good teacher
This will be a melancholic interlude, because love is pain, pain is life
Dotted colorfully with callous frivolity and emotional vacancy
Incomplete thought
Your world seems a bit confused, with hews of unhappiness, sprinkled with moments of intense longing for the object of your unhappiness.
The function of your dysfunction seems to be solitude, a life of random lovers and disposable pleasures
No Tears
There will be no tears shed this time
This one was lost long before the last goodbye
No time for grieving as life marches on
No heart felt monologue, no curtain call
No bowed heads or wistful ado
There will be no tears shed this time
Just goodbye, this is the end
Nice to know you, have a good life
No sorrowful regrets, no farewell tryst
No one last drink, sealed with a kiss
No final embrace, no sight of your face
Just goodbye
There will be no tears shed this time
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