Under the sea - Scratching the surface

I have been wanting to put pen to paper for days now, hoping for something profound, jonesing to write, but nothing. As I write now there is still nothing, but like a fiend craving that next high, I crave the escape, the solitude of this medium.

My thoughts are fluid, never the same twice, charting out its own course, what I write is rarely what I initially think; but I write. It feels like my desire to write does not come from me, it's alien, my body and mind snatched and I willingly do the bidding of its new master.

I sat at the beach Saturday in the hot mid afternoon sun, peering out into the vast ocean and allowing my mind to drift. While I sat there oblivious to anything else, except this huge ant crawling up my leg; I was thankful for the ability to see and appreciate the surf pounding away at the shore. The ebb and flow of the water, this vast nothingness. It seemed so much like a vast, desolate, endless liquid wasteland. But beneath what seems like nothingness lies this wondrous world, a world filled with life and mystery yet to be fully discovered.

I allowed myself to be carried away with my neurosis for a moment. It amazed me how many of my fellow sheep walking around on hind legs feel their lives on the surface to be as vacant as the ocean; but we need only look beneath the surface to see the wonder the beauty waiting to be discovered.

What keeps us from looking beneath the surface? I've grown use to my vacancy, with the occasional sea weed, debris and corpse floating to the surface. My vacancy is my reality and I have not willingly peered beneath the surface.

This is a plunge into something so different to what I have allowed myself to get use to that I am frozen by the prospect of discovery. Isn't that it though, we get so complacent, so use to being part of the flock that we are unwilling to step away from the safety and security of the known, for the untried and untested. So we happily or not so happily continue with the BA BA BAing.

Break away from the flock or remain, you will still be a sheep.