Stick a fuck

I think women seem to believe that they have the market cornered on being frustrated in a relationship - or it is somehow their divine fucking right - as if there is not someone else on the end of that frustration stick being fucking beaten to death, all while taking the licks silently trying to appease them and keep the peace. My back broad, but not so broad - I'm done.

Ctrl+Z

Every now and then I have these moments of regret in my life - my life a sprinkled with those moments; I've often said I have no regrets in life because they made me who I am today - that is when everything is ok, but at moments like now, when I'm at my low point - I have moments, or perhaps it is just a moment of regret.

 

Today, yesterday, I wish I could turn back the hands of time many many years back - but perhaps this is a feeling that will last no longer than the next few hours, maybe it won't, maybe I will have this feeling again next month, then not again till the end of the year - but for now in this space, I wish for an undo button. Unfortunately, life is not a series of 101010...it's organic, filled with emotions - and sometimes I do a lousy job at controlling mine; but hey, c'est la vie.

 

It's time to press my personal reset button; but for some reason in this 2014 model of me, I can seem to locate it as yet - till then I have to endure this temporary malfunction in my system. In the words of Frank Sinatra "...regrets I've had a few but then again too few to mention..."

Torn

...between what the heart feels and what the mind knows to be right
between what the heart wants, the body desires, but everything else won't let you have
between a fantasy, and the reality in which we live
between the smile on your face, or the tears running down your cheek
between being selfless and being selfish
between the years we had, and the years we wish we had
between the temporary moments of joy and the moments of pain
between loving you and loathing you
between loving you and loving you more
between wanting you and needing you
between staying, and walking away
torn...

The Request (8 April 2013)

Strange this request for an expression of affection

An affection so effortless one need not express

Feelings of tugging at heart strings, hastening of breath

Hurried fluttered steps drawing me closer to you, you to me

Perplexed by this surreal expression of affection

An affection ostensibly complex in its simple complication

Un-abashed, unapologetic of a tryst between paramour, protracted to something deeper

Strange this request for an expression of this physical, mental and emotional quagmire

The Eskimo Bought the Ice

Everything in this interesting saga called life happens for a reason, even when the reason escapes our comprehension in our finite wisdom - trust, or have "faith" rather that what dumbfounds you has a purpose. As to whether you will ever understand these occurrences, or better yet learn from them is an entirely different conversation. When all else fails, when there is no one left around you, there is always you. Everything revolves around you!

Guest Who!

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Closet space

Sitting in the silence of black
claustrophobic with emotions
the years roll down my cheeks
lukewarm with sentiment
nostalgic for feelings,
that are slowly, withering away