I Try

I'm not very good at pretending, but I try,
I try to pretend that my broad back and bulging biceps
are strong enough to carry whatever life heaps on me,
but it's heavy, sometimes I bend under the pressure,
my legs feel ready to give way, but I dig my heels in
grit my teeth, summon what strength I do have left, and I heave

I'm not the great pretender, but I try,
I try to pretend that knowing less is not sometimes better
than knowing more, that knowledge, is always power
That it does not hurt to find out things you didn't know
Sometimes a bit of knowledge, is too much for my mind to comprehend
So I gloss over it, pretend that I am still ignorant, and shove that knowledge
to the recesses of my mind - deep in the don't remember or ever speak about box

I'm a lousy pretender, but I try,
I try to pretend that words spoken don't hurt, that I'm good, when I'm not
I try to pretend that I don't want to cry sometimes, that I'm not an emotional man
But I do, and I am
And when the tears want to come, emotions want to show, I run away to my space
get lost in my head, in there, no one sees my pain, sees the tears, sees my heart ache
I try to hide from lovings eyes on the outside looking in
After all men are not emotional beings, and can't be occasionally, emotionally needy

I try to pretend, every now and then, and every now and then, I Fail!