Silver Lining

The hemorrhaging has ceased, no longer am I on that emotional roller coaster, running into the seemingly growing and shrinking hurdles of my consternation and no longer is the wall of my emotional recession up - what is left of all that are memories of a darker time. Brighter clouds are over head and the rain has dissipated - and with bended knees, hands held high, I whisper a quiet thank you to the north wind for making it through this storm. I look back on some of my blog postings and sometimes smile - but it is not a smile of joy but one of wonder; wonder that I harbored such ill feelings . I sometimes read them and in amazement think to myself - you wrote that shit, what the fuck were you thinking; rather feeling.

Almost six months later I'm here with a different outlook on things and the more menacing, bitter, angry version of me finally in repose. A lot can be said for the therapeutic benefits of venting. As I sit here typing, Schizophrenic Conversations by Staind is playing in the back ground and it is so ironic to me that I had many such conversations over the last few months not realising that I was slowly losing my mind to rancor. Thankfully I was able to find all the constituent parts of my mind in time to keep it from becoming permanently lost to a vessel of misery.

Happiness is truly relative to your state of disillusionment or perhaps perception at that point in time in your life. Ultimately it would seem that a state of happiness is trail and error and changes much like the weather. That being said, at this point in my life - I'm in a good space, I'm happy; so until somebody pisses me off or I have an experience which puts me in a less than happy space - there will be no further dark postings from me. Just musings of the things that bring me pleasure in this short life I call my own and I may be to busy enjoying them to even bother posting about them.