Recovering Junkie - WIP

In a court of law an attorney could claim temporary insanity as a defence for a client having committed the egregious act of terminating another's flame of existence. In the wake of such an act, those left behind bear permanent scares forever etched in their minds, though pushed to the back with much effort; but the memory and the pain lingers on.

Unfortunately the same does not hold water in the court of a relationship - more so not a marriage. A plea of temporary stupidity would on occasion, (rare as it may be) fly - but those are with mitigating circumstances - as dictated by the presiding judge (the madame). I had cause to ponder, albeit briefly on the events that unfolded, imploded and eventually exploded recently (recently of course being relative) and could not help but ask myself - how thick could you be; when did the glaucoma set in?

It is an understatement by any stretch to say that the cocaine high got the better of me - a jumbie run a muck, I was. I'm usually better at keeping the junkie within in check. What was I thinking; was I thinking? I dare say I think not. A good friend once told me that I should judge an experience at the end - the end result. This of course was after a not so hot fete - but at the end of the fete my friend ended up with a girl; so in his mind it was a good fete. Clearly, I am paraphrasing the words of my astute friend - but what I took from it is more important.

So yes; 2008 was not my best year - I almost didn't make it to the end. But 2009 started good, and has progressively gotten better. I wouldn't be stretching it too much if I said I came out of it a better man - I accept that I will still mess up on occasion, after all I am a work in progress; but as with every life experience we learn from them and where we err we adjust and improve.

I know I'm in a better place, because I feel it and I see it - there is something about my disposition that radiates and can be seen and has been noted by other people; that is enough to tell me I'm moving in the right direction. They say after joy comes sorrow; but at the end of my sorrow came joy - and I don't intend on relinquishing it in any hurry.