Lost in a space

For the third time in almost as many months I have questioned the madness. The madness that is my convoluted life. And as with the times before, the answer eludes me.

It's almost laughable (in a pathetic way) that one human being could misstep so many times, in so many ways on the path of life to find themselves standing in the middle of nowhere, without a map.

The way forward is cloaked in confusion (deliberate, enabling confusion I suspect); deep within myself I know the right path (it's not really a toss of the coin); I know the answer (do I?). But the left and right side of my brain are involved in an insane tug of war. It is as clear as mud. They won't call draw, one side must be the victor. Idiots!

Ah! Like a light bulb from that big blue space above an idea pops into my head. Just let the damn chips fall where they may; and stop making a simply beautiful life such a fucking emotional land mine.