O.P.P

Ah the disillusion of polygamous monogamy - an oxymoron if ever there was one. One truly can not exist in this state in equilibrium, there must be a flux of imbalance, disharmony. The volatile nature of conflicting personalities eventually cascades - there must be a bone of contention, implicit or explicit revolt to the spoken or unspoken arrangement. A cultural nuance tacitly accepted or verbosely denounced.

The deception of this taboo arrangement, the complicity of the unwilling participants - it is enough to drive the calmest and most level headed among us mad. Is this behaviour, nature, nurture or just plain old socialization? That's the way it is, that the way it will always be, seems to be a fleeting notion. It is difficult to go against the preposterous concepts of socialization which seems to contradict innate conditioning - the conditioning to lust; while social constructs dictate one arrest these desires.

Alas, everyone has to face down their demons, fight their battles on that subconscious plain - perhaps the battle is won by surrender; surrender to nature and not be imprisoned by choice.

Slow Learner

It's been a while since I have had to resort to this page as my therapy, so long has it been that I even forgot the blog name. Ha! Sigh, but alas I am here once again, misery loves my blog - there is no company in my misery. Every emotion is a choice, every choice is invariably the mask of the moment. This is not my finest hour, my moments are fleeting, I feel emotionally drained - I am exhausted from conversations and discussions, I am too tired to think or feel.

I had a body snatcher moment this morning on the commute to work, for a brief moment I found myself lost on a familiar road - quite literally driving by rote. Somehow I managed to find myself back in the doldrums. Ah well, such are the consequences of the decisions and choices we make.