Push back

I used my strength to take advantage of your weakness
And for that, I'm sorry
Sorry that it seems unfair, but it's the nature of life
Life knocks you down, get back up
Sometimes when life pushes, dig deep, push back
Stand your ground, don't punk out, don't back down
Push back, face it head on, back down and get beaten down
That's life, push back, stand up, face life, face the challenge
Make your weakness become your strength
Don't be taken advantage of, when life pushes, push back

Bruise, not broken

This pain it keeps me up at night
It's hard to breathe, it keeps me retreated
Wounded, bruised, battle torn
But like a good soldier, I carry on
I keep it buried away, slowly digging my grave
Feeling trapped by this pain, it's become too heavy to bear
Pride won't let me show it, it comes before the fall,
It won't let me scream out for help
This pain I carry all alone, I brought it on my self
Perhaps it's meant to teach me something, I just refuse to learn
Sometimes, it's ok to quit, it's ok to say I'm done
But, until I learn that lesson
This pain will keep me up at night

LCII

Every now and then I have a seemingly random obscure thought, it causes me a moment’s pause – a time to reflect, and occasionally it is an ahha moment, my version of an epiphany. On closer reflection, I often realize that this thought or thoughts were not very random, or obscure, when I trace it back it follows a not so liner path, but a path all the same, it has some genesis. This morning it was a combination of incidences, scenarios, a facebook video clip and interview all muddled up in the inner working of my not always fully functioning mind. It was a combination of doing deeds genuinely, void of manipulation or ulterior motives, it was about responsibility, decision making, self presentation, fronting, lack of focus, all rolled up in one. It’s amazing the number of thoughts I can have in that 20-25 minute drive. Invariably though, all this came back to the root of my post re: Logical Consequences. We make decisions, and then our decisions make us. Some of us get so pre-occupied with the screen saver that we thing to be our real lives that we forget everything still going on in the background; we forget how quickly and easily reality slaps us in the face, and when it does we wonder where did that come from, we ask, what did I do to deserve this, we think God/the universe/or people don’t like us. It is not often we take responsibility for our actions, our decisions. Nothing is without consequence.

Logical Consequence

Bare with me, I'm having a moment of something over here (not such if it's clarity; might be relief from constipation). So, I finally figured out the purpose of calculus, other than giving you WTF moments, frustration headaches and moments where you say when de phak will I ever use this in life - wait for it, the purpose of calculus is to teach you about life - your life, LOGICAL CONSEQUENCE. Think about it. Calculus equations usually have a constant and a variable (independent variable and/or dependent variable)component(s); if the constant = you and the variable(s) = life's circumstances; what is the outcome of your life. In the equation of your life, you are the most important part - how you interact/respond to the variables of life circumstances ultimately determines how your life turns out. LOGICAL CONSEQUENCE x situation presents itself, you do y, then z happens. 

It should be expected that if you make a series of decisions then eventually the consequences of your decisions, bad or good will eventually bare fruit. We make decisions, then our decisions make us. There are few things in this life that we have absolute control over - one of which is ourselves, our actions, our emotions, and even that comes with a measure of uncertainty and relativity. Notwithstanding, we have some degree of dictate in the direction our life takes and how things cascade around us, we owe it to ourselves to think head before we embark on any action, before the process of a decision takes root in the subconscious of our active minds. It is incumbent upon us to treat our life decisions like a move in chess, think several steps ahead, try to anticipate the possible moves of your opponent - that is not to say that this is an easy feat, or one easily achieved, however, the attempt must be made. It must be held firmly in your mind, that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, that is not to say leave in fear and take no action for fear of a reaction, because even in-action is an action; but once you have come to accept this notion, once you embrace logical consequence, then you accept full responsibility for what ever action/decision you take. 

No end is without a beginning as no beginning is without an end. 

Now back to your regularly scheduled program...

Connect the dots

It's amazing how the human mind works, how we have one thought and it links to another then another, by the time you get locked on the one solid thought, it can be so far removed from it's genesis. I looked down at my feet at my repaired dockers slippers which I so love (yes I love an inanimate object); they were quite pricey and I was a bit distressed when it cam undone; at the time I thought, I need a new pair - but I can't afford it right now, I felt torn to discard of them, so I packed them away in my closet. I dug them out recently with the thought of trying to get them repaired, unsure that they could be, but a mere $5.75 later, they were back to functional, oh glory.

I looked down at my slipper and I thought, that's why it pays not to throw away your old stuff for new, they could always be repaired, restored - and that thought brought me to a post I wrote some years ago, I think it was titled Old Shoes. Then that got me thinking, never throw away your old friends for new ones, your new friends will just as quickly abandon you, which made me think of my brother from another mother who said to me "...gassa I never get vex with pussy..." That thought made me smile broadly, gave me a moments pause and reflection. Sometimes it becomes necessary to move on from the new, or find even newer, but just as important, never let go completely of the old, old in the most unexpected of times can prove to be quite functional, and in the case of my repaired slipper a whole lot less costly.

Twisted

Paint me a picture of your honesty, an abstraction of your lies

Speak to me in monotones of righteousness, sing in stereo your indiscretions

Show to me your façade of virtues masking your vices
Utter plainly the complexities of your devotion
Pull the wool over my eyes so I can see with my eyes wide shut
Make me a promised with your fingers and toes crossed
Tell me I'm all that you need, when you needs are beyond me
Let me hear it from your lips, as it slivers off your tongue
The truth, wrapped in a lie, painted pretty to hide the flaws
Simple perplexities, smoke and mirrors, comfort the fool
Speak in varied contradiction, it all sounds the same