The Margins

It sucks when there is no one you can trust totally to share your thoughts and emotions with - when there is shit going on with you you don't feel comfortable enough to divulge to just anyone. I know this is of my making but it still sucks. I feel like the people in my life are just on the periphery of my life but not really in my life - every body gets a piece of me but not the whole - I feel like I'm on the periphery of life of the people in my life - filling temporary needs - but not really needed. This really sucks.

Muse wanted

I seem to be suffering from some sort of bloggers block - or some general lack of a muse(s). Save last night it has been a while since I have been here - what was once more favourite place. my sanctuary, my creative hot spot ; my respite from the humdrum. By usual suspects for blogging have seem to have taken a hiatus with out so much as a note to me - before my thoughts would keep me awake and beg that those thoughts be vomited on this page; but of late I lay awake with random, meaningless thoughts bouncing around the corners of my mind - unworthy of the effort to roll off my bed and log on to drive one stroke.

My gosh I have not had one experience in the last few months which just begged for me to put pen to paper - what the hell is this?

Back again

I'm having a mini what the fuck moment and rather than lay awake on my bed - I figure it best to return to good old faithful; never fail me yet; always willing to listen; ever attentive ear - my best virtual friend. Just me and these black type case on a white screen attempting to channel my irritation away from my mind yet again. I loathe being built up only to be let down - then non-chalantly dismissed as if it is no never mind that I am upset and disappointed.

I am not extremely peeved but peeved enough to be here typing - followed by prolonged net surfing until my eyes are ready to bulge out my head; alternatively I may switch on the idiot box; no better idea - I'll go read this book I picked up months - if not a year ago and never got around to finishing, yes, that should work. Like I said my virtual best friend, always able to steer me right. Ok I'm off, going to get lost in the pages of my mind.